


Attitude Undone

by jamethiel



Category: due South
Genre: M/M, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-29
Updated: 2007-01-29
Packaged: 2019-09-22 14:05:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17061164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamethiel/pseuds/jamethiel
Summary: Ray doesn't like that Kowalski doesn't have any expectations of them.





	Attitude Undone

**Author's Note:**

> God. All credit for any non-suckage goes to my betas. omphale23 fixed my pronouns when they were making me cry and gave me RayK's knees. catwalksalone stopped me from putting python!Ray in there and fixed my commas. nos4a2no9 told me that I needed more but stopped it from being too much and helped me work out what it all meant. debra_tabor told me when it clunked. Well DONE ladies!
> 
> Written for stop_drop_porn 2007.

Ray stares at Kowalski and feels sour. It's not enough that his marriage breaks up ( _I'm sorry, Ray. This isn't working. And really, what were we thinking? A bowling alley?_ ) and he's back here in Chicago, but he has to be partnered with Kowalski as well.

  
Fuck.

  
Kowalski is completely unaware of how he is fucking up his partner's life. Of course, Kowalski hasn't really seemed to be aware of much ever since he turned up back from Canada weighing 20 pounds less than he should, looking grim and pinched and not talking about Fraser. It's what they have in common really. Not talking about Fraser. Not talking about Stella.

  
Not talking about the fact that they've been fucking after work every night for the last week. And hey, Ray is cool with it. He's cool with not talking, and sometimes a guy needs a rest from all those expectations. He thinks Kowalski gets that. Maybe it's one of the things being married to Stella can teach you.

  
But that makes him think that Kowalski doesn't have any expectations of him— _of them_ —at all and Ray doesn't like that. Kowalski may act like a scarred, skinny, alley-cat and dress like a bag lady, but he should be able to expect something. Not that Ray has any idea of what Kowalski should expect, which makes him mad. Why has he got to be the guy with the answers here? Then he realizes that he has been sitting in the bullpen at work doing nothing but staring at Kowalski for the past fifteen minutes.

  
Kowalski stretches and his t-shirt rides up his belly, exposing a smooth stretch of stomach, which makes Ray angry. His glasses are tangled in that stupid punk hair, and Ray knows, because he has seen it a hundred times before (not that he's been watching or anything) that Kowalski will be completely unable to get them out, and bitch and swear for about five minutes before just ripping them out (along with a sizeable chunk of hair). The man is completely unable to let anything be easy. Ray thinks about Kowalski's hair and is angry. Jeez, you'd think a guy who was lucky enough to have that much hair would take care of it or something.

  
Ray sits there for half an hour, not doing any work and watching the minutes tick by till end of shift. In that time, Kowalski has had three cups of coffee, jittered like he is on speed and completely missed the trash with three of the four wadded up balls of paper he's thrown.

  
Ray has had enough. He throws the file he's been (not) reading down on the desk, snarls- something; he's not sure what, grabs his coat and is on the way out the door before he realizes that Kowalski looked scared, as if he was expecting Ray to kick him.

  
Fuck.

  
Ray can't stop thinking about Kowalski looking scared. He's never done anything to hurt Kowalski. Kowalski doesn't talk about Canada, but it's pretty obvious that something up there hurt him bad. All through dinner with his family, he'll suddenly flash on Kowalski. Jittery and wary. Ray doesn't know what's made Kowalski act like he's constantly expecting Ray to hurt him. Ray doesn't want to know. Well, he can guess. But he doesn't want to, and why the hell is he thinking about Kowalski anyway? The food turns to ashes in his mouth and he pushes the remains around on his plate, wishes for dinner to be over so that he can do something. The boiler needs adjusting—yeah. Maybe he'll do that after dinner.

  
Of course, the fact that he is not eating doesn't escape Ma.

  
"What's the matter, Raimundo? You don't like the gnocchi tonight? Too much salt?"

  
"No, Ma. It's fine. I just had something to eat before I left the station."

  
Ma looks at him searchingly. Ray's never been able to lie to her, but apparently whatever she sees, she knows that he needs to fix it. "You shouldn't eat just before dinner. I'm sure that station food isn't as good for you as a good home cooked meal. But done is done. Why don't you clear your plate? And don't you wake me up when you come in this evening! I'll cook you a good breakfast tomorrow morning."

  
Ray is out the door before she's even finished speaking. Maybe a drive will settle him down.

  
Still, Ray doesn't know how "going for a drive" became "sitting in Kowalski's parking lot". He doesn't know why he's sitting in Kowalski's parking lot. It's not like he owes the guy an apology or anything. As a matter of fact, this is stupid, and he's about to put the Riv into gear and burn rubber out of there when there's a knock at the window, and it's Kowalski.

  
Once again, fuck. Only this time with a whole different meaning, because Kowalski may be a mangy starved alley-cat, but he has the world's prettiest mouth and he knows it. Kowalski just stares at him for a moment, then says "Come on," not even as a question, but as a calm statement of _This is what's happening so get with the program here_. Which makes Ray really mad, and while he's thinking about how mad he is, he's somehow followed Kowalski into his apartment.

  
Kowalski toes off his boots, and leans against the fridge, jerking his chin up at Ray. Ray smiles slowly, because Kowalski is not so calm after all, there is still the surprise (fear, whispers that little voice inside) from this afternoon, and Kowalski doesn't deal well with surprise. Kowalski gets pissy.

  
And that's just fine. Ray can handle Kowalski being pissy. Ray knows just what to do when Kowalski throws a fit.

  
"So," and Kowalski's voice is tight as he reaches for a beer and opens it.

  
Ray is tempted to just sit there, make Kowalski work for it, but the longer he lets Kowalski tie himself in knots, the harder he'll have to work to get him loose and babbling. Well, yes, Kowalski would suck him off whatever—but Ray doesn't want that tonight.

  
Ray pushes himself up off the couch and grabs the bottle from Kowalski's hand. He takes a long sip, and sets it down on the counter and Kowalski looks set to object.

"Shut up, Stanley." Ray makes his voice almost kind. He doesn't want to provoke Kowalski into taking a swing at him, just get him a little fired up. Like Ray has been fired up all afternoon.

  
Kowalski opens his mouth—probably to be pissy, but Ray has always known what to do with a pissy Kowalski and he slides to his knees and breathes on Kowalski's cock. Which is semi-hard anyway and HAH! Ray knew that Kowalski got fired up when he was pissy. Kowalski's cock twitches and goes most of the way hard as the moisture from Ray's mouth penetrates his jeans.

  
Kowalski's breath hisses through his teeth and whatever else he was going to say is forgotten as he bites out "Fuck!" and his head drops back. Ray smiles up at him smugly, and pops the buttons on Kowalski's fly.

  
"Jesus!" and Ray figures that if Kowalski is forming coherent words, he's not doing his job properly. So he takes the head of Kowalski's cock between his lips and flicks his tongue over it. Kowalski says something that sounds like "Nnngh!" and Ray laughs a little, which causes Kowalski to arch up off the wall and into his mouth.

  
Ray takes Kowalski's cock in deeper, using his tongue to caress the underside of the glans. It's good: he loves the way Kowalski tastes, salt and bitter and a hint of sweat. Ray adds some suction, backs off and tongues the sweet spot underneath the glans lightly. Kowalski's hands slide around the back of Ray's head, cradling him, and it's good. Except that, while Kowalski is breathing kind of hard and making occasional groans, he's got his head tipped back and is not even looking at Ray. And that's just not good enough.

  
Ray releases Kowalski's cock, eliciting a surprised "Hey!" from him and gets up off his knees. He gets up into Kowalski's face, seeing those light eyes open in surprise. Ray grabs Kowalski's jaw and turns that pretty mouth to the best angle so that Ray can kiss him. And kiss him, lick his way around and tangle with Kowalski's tongue. They've never kissed before, and Kowalski looks—stunned, or something. Ray stops kissing Kowalski, and Kowalski's voice creaks as he starts to say something.

  
"Fr-" and Ray knows what the word out of Kowalski's mouth is going to be and he doesn't want to hear it. Because Benny is his friend, but Kowalski is something else. Could be something else, and Ray doesn't know, but he just doesn't want to hear it. Ray puts his fingers on Kowalski's mouth, and Kowalski gets it, Ray can see him get it.

  
"Just—here and now, okay?" and Ray cannot help but sound slightly pleading. Which is stupid because Kowalski is the needy one here, but those changeable eyes look understanding, and Kowalski licks his fingers.

  
Jesus.

  
All of a sudden they're kissing fiercely, ripping at each other's clothes. The kiss breaks as Ray tugs Kowalski's shirt off—God, he's skinny. Kowalski manages to get Ray's shirt unbuttoned, but things kind of stall there, because Ray manages to get Kowalski's jeans and shorts pulled all the way down and off.

  
Blow jobs are great, and yeah, he loves the way Kowalski tastes, but it's not enough. Ray wants Kowalski to not even remember his own name, let alone anyone else's. He turns Kowalski to face the wall. Kowalski protests, briefly, but wrapping his hand around Kowalski's cock and dragging a thumbnail up the ridge on the underside takes care of that, and Ray licks Kowalski's ass. First one cheek, then the other, and Kowalski's gone really still. Ray moves his knees open, forcing Kowalski to spread his legs slightly.

  
Ray says "Yeah," against Kowalski's flesh, and watches with amusement as Kowalski twitches. Oh, _yeah_. They're gonna have some fun.

  
Kowalski is so still that Ray can't read his reactions. It's unusual, 'cause Kowalski is always moving: he's a twitchy little fuck. It's one of the things Ray—well, not likes, because he's not sure that he even likes Kowalski. He's used to it, anyway. It makes Kowalski a fantastic fuck, because it's pretty hard to misread someone whining and arching into a touch and making noises that sound like "Nnnnngggg!"

  
He looks at Kowalski all spread out against the wall. Now that he looks closer Ray sees that Kowalski is not actually still, that he's vibrating with suppressed motion. He licks the back of Kowalski's knee, bites lightly at the exposed tendons and watches the muscles in his thigh tense and shake slightly. Kowalski tips his head back and stares at the ceiling and says "Come _on_ " in a tone of rising impatience. Ray's not going to take that from him. To prove it, Ray licks up Kowalski's inner thigh and gently traces the shape of his balls. They're warm, with a smooth covering of loose skin and a light dusting of hair. Kowalski smells good, sweat and soap and clean, warm, musky male. Ray takes one of Kowalski's balls into his mouth. It's good, big and round, but Ray is concentrating too hard on breathing and no teeth. Because teeth would be a bad thing here. He hears a scrabble above him. It must be Kowalski, pressing against the wall to keep his balance. Ray feels smug and smiles, sucks briefly and pulls gently.

This is good, this, this thing. Ray's not sure what the hell to call it, but he wants to see Kowalski, so he opens his mouth and draws back. He puts out his tongue and gently traces the crease where Kowalski's ass curves into thigh. Muscles bunch and shift underneath Kowalski's skin and Ray thinks that Kowalski is still too thin. Ray kisses the small of his back, and thinks that from this distance Kowalski could be his world. An entire landscape of golden planes and angles. He knows that he could spend hours watching Kowalski like this, but what fun is a work of art unless you get to play with it? There was a reason Ray failed art appreciation at school.

  
Ray slides his hands round to Kowalski's hips and holds them. His fingers rest naturally in the hollows and Ray can't think of a way that holding Kowalski wouldn't be right. For a second, all of this rises up and almost overwhelms him and it's almost too much. He rests his head against Kowalski's lower back and sighs a breath. The warm air raises goosebumps on Kowalski's skin and he whines and pushes his hips out slightly, spreading his legs further in invitation.

  
Well. Would you look at that? Ray laughs and drags his teeth down Kowalski's ass. Kowalski jerks and voices a startled "Huh!" and Ray licks him in apology, soothing the sting. Kowalski's hips move towards Ray infinitesimally and Ray knows that Kowalski likes this. Wants this, but can't ask for it because he can never have anything the easy way. But that's okay. Ray has spent long enough watching Kowalski to give him what he wants. Ray licks a deliberate, sloppy line from Kowalski's balls to the dip at the bottom of the spine, then kisses his way back down the crease. He pauses for a second and this time Kowalski's hips don't move infinitesimally, they push back demandingly and Ray's thumbs turn the skin over Kowalski's hips white with pressure as he fights to keep control.

_  
This_ is what Ray wants, to see Kowalski lose it. To keep it while Kowalski is losing it. The only way he ever sees Kowalski lose it these days is with anger, and he doesn't want that. He wants Kowalski to come so hard he blacks out. He wants Kowalski naked in every way, all that attitude undone and so he licks lightly and then thrusts his tongue inside. He can't control the way that Kowalski's hips move and circle and the muscle twitches and flutters distractingly around his tongue and Ray wonders how having his tongue up Kowalski's ass can feel better than the hardest sex he's had with anyone else ever. He curls his tongue slightly, feeling the resistance, withdraws, and plunges his tongue in again.

  
Kowalski groans, and Ray groans back, matching him. Always matching him. He moves his right hand around and grabs Kowalski's cock. Kowalski stills for a second and then starts babbling. Ray has to stop himself from grinning because it makes it hard to keep his teeth out of Kowalski's skin. Kowalski doesn't seem to mind though, because he says " _God, god, Ray_ " like he's having difficulty forming coherent thoughts and Ray slides his hand up and down, jacking Kowalski while his tongue thrusts in the same rhythm. His jaw is getting tired but he could do this forever. He slides his thumb through the pre-come that Kowalski is leaking and flicks his thumb over the cock-head. Kowalski stiffens and shouts as he comes suddenly, unexpectedly, and Ray has a moment to think _God, I don't want this to end_ before the world whites out.

  
Kowalski slides down to lie beside him on the floor. Ray's knees hurt, and he thinks he wrenched his stomach muscles when he came and his jaw and tongue ache. He feels fantastic and can't be bothered moving, but Kowalski struggles to his feet and leans against the wall, breathing hard. Ray is about to get up and start looking for his shirt and wondering if sponging his pants off will make the come stains look any less obvious when Kowalski draws him up and slides a hand round the back of his head and says, "Stay."

  
From this distance, Kowalski's changeable eyes look almost silver in the last light of the day. Ray is about to say, "No, I gotta—Ma is waiting for me" and he draws breath to make his ( _escape_ ) excuses when Kowalski cuts his words off with a brief, light kiss and repeats, "Stay," and Ray smiles.

 


End file.
